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 Carrota Kintou

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In Training

Posts : 13
Join date : 2012-06-04
Age : 21
Location : Stalking both Future and Present Trunks

PostSubject: Carrota Kintou   Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:45 am

Name: Carrota Kintou

Nickname (if applicable): Carrot head and Carrot head hell

Age: 31

Species: Saiyan and Human and Vampire

Home planet: Earth

Family: Kakarot, Chi Chi, Gohan, Goten, Arrow, Rin, Annalee, Nina, Leyla, Gaia, Jessie, Lita, and King the Dog.

Eyes: light blue

Height: 6’ 3”

General Appearance: has blue long hair up in a ponytail, tan skin that sparkles, freckles, and vampire fangs.

Power Level: 20,000,000 in normal form and 200,000,000 in non normal form.

Abilities: Super Speed and Ki user

Weapon of Choice: Frying Pan of Doom

Occupation: She likes to help out the 15 year old girls at Capsule Corporation and she likes to build robots that can sing and fight. So she actually builds androids. The androids she builds aren’t evil. They are on the Z fighters side.

Personality: Nice, Peaceful, Quiet, Daring, Happy go lucky, Strong willed, and Funny.

History: unknown

Love Life/Relationships: Married to Arrow

Random Information: Has many family members near her. Has a good paying job at capsule corporation helping Jessie and Anina build those robots. She is a very nice person sent to the planet with Goku when their planet was destroyed.
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Lilliana Nariko
Kanassan Psychic
Lilliana Nariko

Posts : 235
Join date : 2010-12-19
Age : 30
Location : under your bed +__+

PostSubject: Re: Carrota Kintou   Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:18 pm

From all three of your applications it is rather clear to me that you have not read the rules as you should have. I'm not going to beat around the bush but you should do the reading if you want to play, it's good for you and helps everyone else on the forums to adjust to your characters.
Here are some links to get you started on understanding this universe. [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.], [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

A little critique on the characters themselves to help you out; the level of hybridization is a bit off the rocks. My character Jezza is the result of hybridization project that was developed to save an entire species but none of it happened naturally. Not in the least. It took many years to do and all of it was careful genetic coding. Science, machines, nano machines, the works. A lot of effort went into that change, they didn't just go through and rip genetics from random creatures left and right or crossbreed until genetic degeneration happened.

As a general rule to keep things believable you want no more than two races in a hybrid of any kind. There are several very deep emotional aspects to being a hybrid. Often such characters are cast as outsiders because neither race outside the parents wants anything to do with them. In some cases they are accepted into one or both societies but even the Saiyans here are a bit offish towards the humans despite being allies. You should keep that in mind with your characters. When a hybrid character is accepted even by others it is usually a bit difficult to not be seen as freakish, odd, or simply different. You're missing a lot of meat in the story about how they got to be so hybridized.

Height, cannot stress this enough. Your younger characters are at fully grown height already and freakishly tall by human standards to boot. There are two fifteen year old girls that are taller than Vegeta and Goku here and it just doesn't add up. Sorry, for the pun.

Vampires don't tan. In Dragon Ball they are actually depicted as being blue and are not near as powerful as you might think. Krillin actually beats one while he is a child. You could actually do away with that part of them entirely and they wouldn't be losing much honestly. It feels like you'tr trying to focus on razzle dazzle and have no substance to really put into them.

Weapons; frying pan of doom is listed on at least two of your characters. You can be more creative than that. I am quite sure you can. Why not a rolling pin of doom if the theme is to be kitchen utensils?

Shapeshifters. The ONLY shapeshifters allowed on DoF are Karete's race. Any others completely blow the entire purpose of her species out of the water and that's pretty rude to do. It's not like we want to ruffle your feathers and put weights and restraints on you but it is simply not plausible. If you want a shapeshifter character why not ask her to play one of her species? If she feels you can be trusted to play one well she might say yes. As it stands, I'd not have such hopes just yet.

Sailor scout. No. No crossovers are allowed. Inspiration is one thing but that's two direct crossovers I have seen in your applications now. Earth and DBZ earth and sailor scouts. That is simply not workable under any ideal here. We appreciate creativity but that is simply put, pissing on our line.

Number. Everyone who was new at some point started out with two characters, one canon and one oc. I started with that limit and you've not even tried for a canon. I don't mean to be rude but you really shouldn't blast away expecting any kind of special treatment. If we make an exception for one person then everyone will want to be an exception.

I worked my butt off to prove I could play four characters and I worked hard to balance myself between canon and OC. I play Doore, Bura, and my two OCs Lily and Jezza. I'm perfectly content with that but it's a bit wrong to prance in, not read anything of importance, miss the rules and regulations, and just assume everyone will bend to let you in. These are applications for a reason, process is very important. It's like applying for a job in real life, you have to make it sound like you are the right person for it.

Finally, power levels. You OBVIOUSLY did not read the limit. 5000 for all new characters. Only senior members get any kind of lee way in that at ALL. I'm not a senior member and I'm not complaining about it. Nobody I've brought has complained either. Your characters are VASTLY overpowered and unbelievable. Their histories are incredibly snipped, clipped, and slapped together and offers no providence whatsoever for how they could have even possibly obtained such power levels. There is no way a teenager would have that kind of power.

There's a lot more but I think you'll be tired of hearing me by now. Resident newb herder out.
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Age : 36
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PostSubject: Re: Carrota Kintou   Tue Jun 05, 2012 2:41 am

Well, I think Lilliana has covered that pretty nicely.

I'd say that at this point in time your OC applications are gathering a resounding NOT APPROVED. They need to be severely reworked to bring them up to the standard that we expect on this forum. In addition you are allowed to start with ONE and only ONE and there are no exceptions to that rule.

I will point out one thing that Lilliana did not - we immensely discourage having an OC related to any main canon charater. The two exceptions on the forum are Caith's Caithion (the why's of this are explained in her OC Creation thread) and my OC Karete, who is Goku's twin. While this may seem unfair, both Karete and Caithion have existed for a good long while (a good deal more than three years I might point out - I think Karete is coming up on her first decade next year). Karete, while being Goku's twin has never let that define her and has in fact, had very little to do with her brother. Her importance to her family is mainly to the lesser members. And her importance in the game is as Neo-Vegeta's Mastertech.

Also, this is not a happy-happy game. The universe is being ravaged by Frieza, Goku is dead, his family scattered, the Saiyan Royal Family is pretty much in hiding (and would like to keep it that way).

As to Lilliana's suggestion that you could ask if your character's could be part of my shape-shifter race, the answer would be no. This is because I'm very particular about how their powers work and based on what I have seen so far of your writing/OC creation I am not prepared to have to coach you through all the particulars. Also, it would not work with the current story line as their history clearly states that my OC Reffinest is the only known shape-shifter to have left her planet. The ONLY exception to this rule is Meraxa's OC Sage (whose name is escaping me at the minute) as he worked a brilliant reason into the plot to bring him into play. So, no shapeshifter please.

I cannot stress enough that you take Lilli's advice and read all the threads she has linked you to. It will help make your experience here much much smoother.

Hope to see a re-application. Regards, Your Friendly Neighbourhood Moderator.
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Location : Stalking both Future and Present Trunks

PostSubject: Carrota Kintou   Fri Jun 08, 2012 5:43 am

There is going to be a new girl of mine that is going to be posted. Laughing She isn't like the others she has a more readable profile. Very Happy
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