...Gonna interject here.
First off... how does that hybrid of species work? Saiyans and humans exist in the setting yes, so a hybrid between them, whislt unusual, isn't impossible. Vampires also exist in Dragonball. And so do shapeshifters, though are a strictly alien race that does not meet others often. But you know what doesn't exist? People from the moon. And even they did exist, they probably aren't from Earth's moon, given that got BLOWN UP by Master Roshi, and then remade by Kami later. And given he never really offers to bring a few people back from the dead unless its via dragonballs, its doubtful that he could bring back an entire civilisation. Maybe they're not from the Earth's moon though - in which case though, where did they come from, and how in the world did they get early enough into the gene pool to result in a five piece hybrid? For an idea of how unlikely that is, the latest she could possibly be born is 768, and still be 15, as Earth fell to the Empire a year later. First contact was made in 737. Thats 31 years of separate races coming together. The only way it works is two of the three aliens already bred together, and their off spring married a human-vampire, and then added the last one into the mix. Seem plausible? Not really.
Now, being 15 years old and that tall? Not strictly impossible, and probably a bit more bearable for characters in a DBZ setting - especially shapeshifters.
However, this, and the general lack of detail, doesn't really tell us anything about her appearance. We don't know the features of her face, her skin colour, her general build, how she looks for age. Going by what we know species wise, and considering DB lore, and assuming the right combination of genes occured...
She's a blue humanoid with vampire fangs and slanted eyes that also has a tail, whilst being ridiculously thing as is the norm for most sailor moon characters.
Is she not? Then well, you have to show or specify it.
Power Levels are right out. Two key rules here: 1) Until you've been around on the site and rped, a character's starting PL is 5000 or less. 2) No PL's may be higher than Frieza, who stands at only 6,000,000. So not only does this mean you cannot start with over three times that amount, and especially not a transformation giving the character TEN TIMES MORE on top of it. Moreover, what is this 'non normal form'? Can't be super saiyan as thats a 50 times power boost, unless stated otherwise. Oozaru is an existing concept, so not that either. Humans, vampires, and shape shifters seemingly don't have such a thing. So what does it do and why does it happen?
Abilities: Some of these are obvious, and none of them are explained. Given that there are TWO transformations, both also taken from another show that is not part of the same universe, these can't both be to do with her 'non normal transformation'. So what are they? What purpose do they serve? What do they DO?!
Weapon choice: Actually kinda funny. And proven to be a versatile weapon in DB.
Occupation wise... uh, there is no capsule corp. It was DESTROYED when Earth got invaded. There is also a difference between an android and a robot, and its that androids are humanoid and designed often to be disguised as people. Unless you are in fact referring to Androids like Dr Gero's kind... in which case how did she learn to do this. Bulma and capsule corp are not into the android making business.
And no, she can't be unknown. Not entirely. A mysterious past with questions to answer is one thing. IT adds intrigue and suspense to a tale. But simply saying 'unknown' indicates that you thought up these grand ideas... and either could not explain them, or chose not to reveal at least some details to help others understand. Take your pick on which it is, but whatever it is, it needs to be fixed if this is to fly in any way, shape, or form. Heck, even if she only doesn't remember stuff from before a certain point, then GOING TO SCHOOL AND WORKING AT CAPSULE CORP - whilst the latter doesn't quite work - are still a part of that history. So why not add them?
As for love life and relationships: She's dating Goten? WHEN? Because if its by the time of the Namek Quest, he's SEVERAL years older than her. How does a girl who's still in school even MEET one of the most powerful warriors in the galaxy? Don't just throw it in there and now elaborate even a little.
And no, just that she's in school is not all you can tell us. As I've pointed out, there's quite a bit you could still tell us. How her heritage works. How her abilities work. How her occupation works. How her LIFE works.
And that the last of those still needs to be told, really shows where work needs to be done. We need to know at least something of the character, or she seems out of place and disregarding of the story as a whole.
Subject: Anina Door 
Mon Jun 04, 2012 10:57 am
